My First Book Of Autobiographical Stream-Of-Consciousness Stories Part 1

Now:
Really, this is...not really, well, maybe perhaps the first one I've actually posted on here. And I know this is insanely meta, because this is a story and all and I'm not going to put in where I've gone and edited bits back and forth in my head and well...what was the point of that insanely long run-on sentence? Ah yes. I'm getting ahead of myself. Yes.
This is a stream of consciousness story, or post, whichever fits better, where we attempt to follow - I say follow because if it went straight from head to screen it would be an incomprehensible string of half-formed words and thoughts - Fire up the thought engines! - so we're trying to minimise the whole "jumping tracks around my head midway" thing here. And hopefully it'll be in sequential sentences. And yes, this is part of it too. Did you think, maybe, these were author's notes? Well, the line's blurred, and so are many others. Enjoy while I procrastinate and angst at the same time.
Scroll down to the very bottom for the distilled, but slightly different version. It's a long way down.
Buckle up for a ride inside my weird, weird head. Like I said, autobiographical.