MST: They Came From Beyond Space: A Well-Needed Sporking (From a New!Whovian perspective) (Part 2 of 1)

or, All The MST The Schlocky Horror Picture Show Couldn't Fit In Between The Film Lines

 

(TVS, Friday 20/8/10, 10:30 pm - 12:15 am)

There is no part 1, see.

A British SF film, 1967. (Yes, they were on the Second Doctor then. I checked.)

Alright, so, so far, Mr Protagonist, Dr Curt(is) Temple, has seen that everyone has been taken over by aliens who do a really, really bad job of acting like people. And they've just unleashed a "Crimson Plague"! There was a really fake driving scene involved. And SFX involved in animating the possession, was, quite frankly, worse than the regenerations on Doctor Who. That I've seen, of course. And his girlfriend (ooooh, in the attitudes of the time) was the first one.

23:??: WTF IS THAT LIKE FASTER THAN LIGHT, 48 HOURS BETWEEN EARTH AND THE MOON? 24 HOURS, WHAT?!

Alright, they have less subtlety than Daleks - AND DALEKS WERE CREATED A FEW YEARS BEFORE, AT LEAST THEY DIDN'T  TRY TO PASS FOR HUMAN AND UTTERLY FAIL. They have less subtlety than freakin' UNIT, for goodness' sake! And they're a sekrit govment conspiracy [sic], I mean, UN subdivision (at least in its original conception).

Too many Communist metaphors to mention. TOO. MANY.

Oh, look, pulsy blobs of light - or is that film? God, that handgun/blaster/raygun thingy is worse than a proper laser screwdriver. Or a sonic one, for that matter. (To quote, "Who'd want sonic?" When, after all, you can have a sonic SQUARE blaster or, even better,

23:43: Dun dun dun! MOAR CLONES. Good god, they have worse aim than UNIT with copper-jacketed bullets against Sontarans and less subtlety than a Judoon platoon on the Moon. Which is where the aliens are based. On the Moon.

Oh poor sap. They have to melt down his cricket trophies. And for what, a colander of a helmet?! Silver?! Opaque to radiation?!

Those *twitch* goggles *twitch*. Is that the best they can do with 1960's prop technology? I mean, rectangular? With those *twitch* dangly bits like the bits in a bendy vacuum cleaner pipe for the dust to go through?

Oh, look, those blasters, sorry, rayguns, can kill the damned emotionless aliens dead! At least Curt got his Leigh, sorry, Lee Mason back.

Oh look. The possessed guy failed to look under the car FIRST, to see their legs (to see if they were outside). Pfft.

"We've got to stop them from taking off." Sweaty-faced red guy! It took off.

LOL, hyperdrive?

Shooty clones!

LOL, 3 hours later, they will be taken to the Master <s>(and they will obey him)</s> of the Moon. (I doubt the Doctor Who character

Oh, look, colourful robes! Still not as fancy as those

OF COURSE THERE WILL BE RESISTANCE

"primitive savages compared to our knowledge"...where have I heard that before? "Highest lifeform in the universe", "this moon of your Earth", "grow old and weak" "wish to die"....yeah.

Oh, look, they really wanted peace after all, and all those Communist references weren't actually intended. Just goes to show that, possibly, if the Doctor had shown up about two hours earlier, shown his psychic paper off, realised that it didn't actually work (optional), gone WTF (if not earlier) very advanced technology on Earth NO WAI, goes "WTF are you doing", then "Carry on, then, so long as you give the people back". Because that is pretty much what happened. Except the proposed DW version takes 40 minutes, 80 at most. So, yeah.

They do look like the Avengers! This might just be a total rip-off of Quartermass II! (I still don't get how Terry Nation was involved.)

"Soon you will be one of us." Hmm, totally not creepy at all! Oh, look, he doesn't want surgery after all!

 

 

 

Also, wait, wait, wait, THE CHASER ON ABC NEWS 24 AT 12:30?